We all know that pesky voice that can do a lot more than make us feel bad. “Negative self-talk about money can be devastating,” says financial therapist Jane Monica-Jones. “When you’re constantly telling yourself ‘I’m hopeless with money’ or ‘I’ll never get ahead’, it doesn’t just stay in your head. Those inner scripts can drive avoidance, impulsive spending or shame-driven secrecy.” Put simply: the story you tell yourself about money becomes the financial life you live. Fortunately, with a few tips and tools, you can transform your mindset and improve your relationship with money.
Identify the mental chatter
The first step to changing the way you speak to yourself is acknowledging the self-doubt and that it’s starting to impact your finances – and life. “Negative self-talk is getting out of control when it starts dictating your behaviour more than reality does,” says Monica-Jones. “For example, even if the bills are paid, you still feel like you’re failing. If your money fears feel louder than the facts, your self-talk has taken the wheel.”
Reframe your thinking
Next, it’s time to turn that thinking around. Challenge each thought by using positive words instead of negative ones, and don’t be afraid to talk back to your inner critic (although maybe not in a public place!). “Replace ‘I’m terrible with money’ with ‘I’m learning new ways to manage my money,’” suggests Monica-Jones. “It’s small but powerful.”
Celebrate small financial wins
A harsh inner critic can destroy your confidence so a great way to counteract it is by celebrating every financial achievement, no matter how tiny. “Small wins can interrupt the cycle,” says Monica-Jones. “Every time you meet a micro-goal such as paying off a small debt or renegotiating a bill, you’re building new evidence that challenges the old story. Confidence grows not from giant leaps but from stacking tiny wins until you can no longer deny your progress.”
Try meditation and journalling
Try meditation to create distance from negative thoughts and minimise your stress. Darlene Neu, financial wellbeing consultant and founder of The Money Collective, also recommends writing about your early experiences with money. “Journalling your money story is powerful,” she says. “You’ll be able to join the dots between past actions and the beliefs behind them and choose to let those beliefs go. This release unlocks the energy to leap forward.”
Name the negative voice
“When you hear ‘I’ll never get out of debt’, label it as ‘the inner critic’ or ‘the worrier’,” says Monica-Jones of her favourite tool. “This creates distance because it separates you from the thought. You’re no longer fused with it and it loses some of its power.”
