By now, most of us know that our emotional and financial lives are intertwined. A bad day can lead to a bit of cheeky online shopping. Spotting a friend’s social-media post on snorkelling in Fiji might see us booking a weekend away that we hadn’t budgeted for. It’s not exactly a secret—but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to spot when it’s happening.
Spending triggers often slip under the radar for most people—and there’s nothing wrong with that. “Emotional spending isn’t a character flaw—it’s a deeply human response to complex inner experiences,” says psychologist Emma Peterson. “Life throws us curveballs and sometimes the act of buying something new can feel like grabbing onto a lifeline.”
As for how to deal with it, the key isn’t to banish spending altogether—it’s to understand your triggers so you can spot them when they pop up. Because when you know what’s really going on, you can make money choices that make sense long term.
Mood boosters
Sadness, boredom and stress can all impact our financial behaviour. “Shopping can serve as a form of emotional regulation—whether to lift our mood through a quick dopamine spike, distract from discomfort or help us to regain a sense of control,” says Peterson.
If you’re susceptible to retail therapy, be gentle with yourself. The goal isn’t to stop seeking relief but find it in a different way. “Approach the urge with curiosity and kindness,” says Peterson. “Ask yourself, ‘What’s really going on? What am I feeling right now? What am I actually looking for at this moment?’”
Instead of shopping, try some free ways to calm your mind. Calling a friend, going for a walk or doing a little at-home self care, like taking a bath or settling in with your favourite TV show, are all forms of comfort that don’t drain your bank account.
Shopping buzz
From influencer reels to major sales, it can be easy to succumb to a bargain. But with the internet now in the palm of our hand, it’s worth considering if you really need what you have in your cart.
“Social-media posts can lead to spontaneous purchases so fast,” says Darlene Neu, co-founder of The Money Collective. Let’s say you see a creator sharing a recent purchase they love with a 10 per cent discount for followers. Their review—combined with a limited-time discount—will quickly turn your “want” into a “need”.
Build in a “pause button” between the impulse and the action. “If you find yourself eyeing off something online, make a commitment to a 24-hour waiting period,” says Peterson. Most likely the anxiety will fade and looking at the purchase without the emotional trigger might have you feeling differently.
