Finding freedom from financial abuse

Almost half of Australian adults have either experienced financial abuse themselves or know someone who has.
Financial abuse can start slowly and gradually limit a person’s access to money, decision-making and independence.
Help is available. If you or someone you know is experiencing financial abuse, the CommBank Next Chapter Team can help.

Money should offer choice, freedom and security. But it can also be used as a weapon. Financial abuse strips away independence and confidence, leaving victim-survivors trapped. Almost 40 per cent of the adult population have experienced or know someone who has experienced financial abuse, costing them $5.7 billion in 2020 alone¹. This hidden form of violence is all about control – restricting access to money, limiting decision-making and eroding self-worth. In this story, two women share how it has shaped their lives.

Abuse and isolation can start slowly

For Neha*, the abuse was like a leaking tap – drip by drip at first and then all at once.

“The irony was that in the beginning, I used to joke with my husband that he spent too much money on me and that he needed to put some away for a rainy day,” she recalls. “Now, I think it was an act of love-bombing” – a tactic where someone showers you with affection and gifts in order to manipulate you.

Neha’s husband – who told her it would make more “tax sense” for his name to be the only one on the mortgage and for hers to be the only one on the credit card – cultivated a years-long plan to isolate her from friends and family by restricting her access to money.

“I couldn’t see the credit card statements, even though they were in my name. I had no visibility over the mortgage and because I wasn’t working, I had to clear any purchases with him, even if they were practical items like nappies or things for the house. You really don’t realise how much freedom your own money provides you, until you have none.”

Now divorced and managing her own finances, Neha says she’s slowly building a sense of independence with support from her family. “It’s been a long road,” she says. “But I now watch the money from my new job come into my account and while it’s not much, it’s mine. Nobody can take it or use it to control me.”

When choices become limited

Gold Coast psychologist Anoushka Dowling, who has spent her career working with victim-survivors of abuse, says financial abuse is a go-to strategy in the coercive-control toolkit because it’s such an effective method of domination.

“The victim-survivor often doesn’t have the freedom to make choices, like meeting friends to do social activities. They can’t go to dinner or out for a coffee,” she says. “They’re also likely prevented from using money to do things that would enhance their physical health or emotional wellbeing They can’t engage in self-care activities that cost money, they can’t buy the food they like or even medication and other necessities to maintain their health.”

Finding someone to confide in

The first person Angie* told about the financial abuse she was experiencing was a CommBank teller. “Her answer was so compassionate,” she says.

“I asked her to help me – I needed to leave but I knew my husband couldn’t find out about my bank account. He was violent and controlling but the financial abuse was keeping me trapped. She said to me, ‘Don’t worry. We’re going to help you.’” - Angie

Throughout her relationship, Angie was screamed at for spending an extra $50 on groceries “but he would go on international holidays, wear designer clothes and buy $1000 bottles of wine,” she says. “Once we separated, he made it look as though his salary was zero so that I had to pay him child support. And he comes from an affluent family, who agreed in no uncertain terms to do whatever it took to ruin me financially as punishment for leaving.”

Looking back, it was the bank’s response that really helped Angie feel empowered to take one step after another. “And finally, I was able to contact the police.”

CommBank’s Next Chapter initiative

Angie’s experience isn’t uncommon. Victim-survivors were more likely to seek help for financial abuse from a bank than a domestic violence hotline, according to the Centre for Women’s Economic Safety. CommBank's Next Chapter initiative is helpful in linking victim-survivors with services that support them in leaving the abusive situation and take steps towards recovery from financial abuse.

Dowling says the growing ability of institutions to help is a game changer. “Therapeutically, I explore victim-survivors’ beliefs about money and work to uncover the influence of the abuse.” But getting support to recover through programs like CommBank Next Chapter and the Good Shepherd Financial Independence Hub can help them start regaining confidence and rebuilding their lives.

Common signs of financial abuse

Suzanne shares some of the financial abuse flags to be aware of:

Restricting or preventing someone from working or studying.
Sabotaging employment or education opportunities.
Controlling access to bank accounts or having a partner’s salary deposited into the perpetrator’s account.
Hiding money or assets from a partner.
Pressuring someone to take out loans or debt in their name (or doing so without their knowledge or consent).
Controlling spending, such as withholding credit cards, giving only a restrictive allowance or monitoring receipts and day-to-day buys.

Helping someone experiencing abuse

If you suspect someone close to you may be experiencing financial abuse, here are some suggestions.

Expect to talk more than once

They may not recognise what’s really happening. “Some financially abusive behaviours, such as tightly monitoring receipts or limiting someone’s access to joint funds, can be mistaken for budgeting when in reality, they’re control and abuse,” says Suzanne Panecki, senior manager at Good Shepherd’s Financial Independence Hub.

Don’t explain it away

“You’ll likely see the person’s financial behaviour change. They may stop coming out for dinner or contributing to group gifts,” says Dowling. These shifts are easy to explain away as evidence of a new relationship and shifting priorities.

Have a gentle chat

Dowling suggests being curious and non-judgemental. “Ask questions like, ‘I’ve noticed you haven’t been doing ‘x’ lately. Is everything okay?”

Be a little vulnerable

You could say something like, “I’ve been struggling with the cost of living and have given up ‘y’. How are you managing?” Your vulnerability can prompt openness in return.

Support is available

If you or someone you know is experiencing financial abuse, the CommBank Next Chapter Team can help. They can provide free and confidential support and referrals by connecting you with a range of specialist services, such as the Good Shepherd Financial Independence Hub.

In an emergency, always call 000.

To find out more about CommBank Next Chapter, visit www.commbank.com.au/support/next-chapter

*Name has been changed

Published: 5 December 2025